Getting it on below Zero

I’m not wearing any long underwear.

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me to bring me back from the brink of hypothermia?

Nice dress. Can I talk you into a couple more layers, I’m cold just looking at you.

How was heaven when you left it and was it warmer there, please tell me its warmer there.

I can’t help staring at you—is that a Canada Goose parka?

I’ll swipe right as soon as my finger thaws out.


I’ve been dressing you with my eyes.

How about we Netflix and desperately try to warm up?

Do your lips taste as good as they look and do you have any ChapStick because I can’t feel mine?

Feel my sweater—it’s made of boyfriend material and super warm cashmere.

Let me take you for a ride—I have snow tires.

Why don’t you come up and see my hot new American Standard furnace sometime?

I like my men like I like my coffee—scalding hot.

So what are you into—fleece lined, silk, Duofold, flannel?

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